I have a very low centre of gravity and when you add to that a set of dodgy knees and total fear of falling flat on my face, you may not be surprised to hear that while I may wobble, I rarely fall down.

So last week came as a total shock to me.

I was on “the mats” facing a very sleight 15 year old girl who seemed intent on pulling me to the floor and sitting on me until I squealed.

I wasn’t terribly scared, I’m pretty strong, I’m very heavy and as we’ve also established, I don’t fall down.


I’m guessing there was 20 seconds of scrabbling before I found myself wondering how I managed to end up flat on my back with a teenager sitting across my chest, slowly, deliberately, suffocating me.

Suffocation aside, I can tell you it was deeply uncomfortable. I can squat 125kg, how the heck does a 55kg girl manage to incapacitate me?

white belt

Now that I’ve picked up a white belt and started to learn Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) I’m sure there will be many more uncomfortable moments before I earn the right to demonstrate any form of dominance.

I see a rocky road ahead for my battered ego.